Surprised by Joy
Last year I met someone who told me point blank that he couldn't respect me because of the religion I freely and daily choose to live out and that, by virtue of it, I was unable to think on my own.
Over the course of my very short life, I have received myriads of echos of this very statement, from dates, friends, strangers, or colleagues. Surprisingly, I was left unaffected because I knew myself and am true to that. I do think about whether I want to stay or leave my religion - I think everyone should think about this regardless of whether the object of your worship is your career, your image, a personable god, or yourself. I do think about why I believe what I believe (thank you Socratic gadflies). In the end, however, I know I was unaffected because the question was akin to judging someone's choice in partner or spouse - it's not anyone's business save the lovers.
I was reflecting on this experience last week in Montreal and again this week as I sat with a dinner guest - a holy man who radiated a peaceful and calm joy and warmth. A grounded and matured charity (or love, in the vernacular) that is only found in few souls, and in my experience, only those who have encountered Love and not just some rational account of it. There are very few people whose mere act of being changes you and draws you to humility and transformation - this individual was. I think and reflect on that stark contrast between both men - the latter emanated Beauty, Goodness and Truth, while the other, who like a siphon, sucked out any life, joy or goodness. I'd rather stay on the side of a tree bearing good fruit than the contrary. A life being surprised by joy. And a life where canes and crutches are tossed aside.
Search, but dig in the correct field.